Dear God...

 

Dear God,

I won't ask why, and I'm not mad.  

I know this will be over sometime, and I know that You know how much my heart breaks to see my child in pain.

Thanks for being there for us!  Thanks for sending many angels to help us through this!  

Some give gifts of love.  

Some give gifts of service.  

Some give gifts of monetary means.  

Some give gifts of prayer and faith.  

Some give courage and hope.  

Some give a listening ear and a hug.  

Some give words of encouragement and comfort.

Some give thoughtful gifts to remind us that we are loved and thought of often.

Some give us gifts that make us laugh.

Thank you so much for the many lessons I have learned through this experience!  Lessons of compassion and service, patience and understanding, how to be optimistic and hopeful without losing sight of reality.

You haven't told me yet, what the outcome will be, and it scares me a little.  But I trust you, Father, and I know You will do what is best for Jake and for all of us.  Sorry you have to keep reminding me, but thank You for doing it often.

Thanks for showing me how to avoid the "Pity Puddles".  It really works!  Of course, You knew that already!

I knew You loved me, I just didn't know how much!  Thank you for reminding me, again and again and again and again....  I will never get tired of the different ways You show me.  

Love, 

Me

Hebrews 12:12

• Hebrews 12:12

  Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Iva,
  
  I'm thinking about you today, because since your stroke, your hand hangs down...and let's not forget those feeble knees!  I know it's difficult for you to not be the lifter, but you do lift my spirits when I see the progress you have made!  You keep trying and you work hard every day to improve the movement in your limbs and to make your memory work right.
  
  What a blessing for me that you moved even closer...right next door!  I can pop in much more often! :)  You and John are such great examples for me and my family.  Thanks for letting me be a part of your life because when I am lifting your hands, you are lifting mine.
  
  Love you!
  
  
  
  Rose
  

Happy Face!

No more shots this week!  Counts are up!

New Blog!

My niece, Arianne, got together with her sisters and mom and put together a blog to keep updates on Jake and to make it possible for those who would like, to make contributions to Jake's ever mounting medical bills.  http://forthesakeofjake.blogspot.com/

I don't have the heart to ask, but I do have a grateful heart that appreciates all they and you have done for us. 

Some of you received an email from me that they put together.  If you could pass that on to anyone who might be interested, that would be awesome!

Thanks for your interest in Jake and his well-being!

You Look Like Charlie Brown!!!

I suppose it was bound to happen.  We took Jake out to eat for several reasons, partly to see if we could put some weight back on him and partly because Dave wanted to continue the celebration of completing radiation therapy.  Monday is usually a good day for appetite for Jake because it's just before his next chemo treatment.  There was a young man at the door, and as we were leaving he started yelling that Jake looked like Charlie Brown and how he hated that guys shaved their heads!

Sorry Jake!  I'm so glad that there are only a few people are like that.  Most people ask me how you are doing and are concerned for you.  They pray for your return to good health.  Still, there are many who don't understand that your baldness was not your choice.  If it were up to you, your hair would be down in your eyes again!  Then there would be those people who would wonder why you don't get your hair out of your eyes!  Thanks for your patience, Jake!  We love you no matter where your hair is!
Jmom

Yeah Jake! :)

Sigh, cry...

Chemo round 10:  another hospital stay, another bunch of bills...30 more weeks of this!  Ugh!
I know, I know....hang in there, chin up, have faith, just keep swimming....
It's hard to keep a good attitude while you watch your child deal with getting his insides fried and getting so skinny, you can't find any fat on his body to give him the shot he needs.  It hurts enough to make a grown man cry, but he doesn't...but he winces in pain, pain that I am causing him...it's breaking my heart!

Maybe I shouldn't write about the hard days.  Not very inspiring is it.

Well, here is the part where I count my many blessings:
1.  Radiation will be over on Thursday! :)
2.  My friend, Jenene, helped me clean out the freezers...less mess, less stress!
3.  Jake has not had the worse side effects from Radiation and Chemo.
4.  The swelling is getting better.
5.  I can still get Jake to smile...most of the time.
6.  I received some beautiful flowers on Sunday to remind me that I am loved.
7.  One of my sweet Primary girls made me some cute magnets to put on my fridge.
8.  I still have Hope!

I've been thinking lately...

I have a favorite Aunt who would always make me feel special when I went to visit.  I felt we had bonded in a way that no other relative had.  Come to find out, she made everyone feel that way.  That's why we love her so!

I think Jesus is that same way.  He has a unique way of making you feel like you are connected to Him like a special friend.  I like that!  I like knowing that we all have a chance to be close to Him and He is the one who will always be there for us!  You can talk to Him any time you want...He's not too busy to listen.  Never a line to wait in to talk to Him.  You're never put on hold and have to listen to advertisements or some silly lady's voice telling you what number to push to talk to Him directly.  And when you feel the saddest or when your heart is broken, that is when you feel His love the most.

Amazing how He can make each of us feel that way...I was just thinking...

My Crazy Family

Put boys in front of a box of legos and it keeps them busy for hours!

Liz!  Always a little blurry!

Emery giving grandma a wet hug!

Sam just remembered he left his lips home!

Mike hiding behind a tree so the fish can't see him!

Dave assuming the position...we catch them, he takes them off!  

We caught about 30 fish between us!

I like this pic!  Zack took it.  

This is one of the rocks we rest our poles on. (Moosehorn Lake)

I caught about 10 fish straight out from here...in case you were wondering where the sweet spot was.

My Easter Lily bloomed again!  

My little reminder from God that He's thinking of me and I should be thinking of Him!

Chemo: Round 8

For the first time, Jake went to chemo without me!  I was ready to go, but John and Austin wanted to go with him, then go for pizza after.  It was our anniversary and I had a bunch of stuff to do, so I was grateful for the extra time off.  His blood counts were pretty low so we got to take a trip in and do a blood transfusion after radiation therapy on Wednesday.  We are figuring out what "normal" is, and I think Jake is comfortable handling this on his own sometimes.
Jake just did his labs on Friday.  All of his counts were up!  No more Neupagen shots this week!
Happy Dance!

Happy Anniversary Hon!

Well, not Happy Anniversary to the ladies, but the cute guy on the right.  The pics I took on our anniversary saved to the camera and not my memory card (I don't know why) so we improvise!  The day started out well with some racquetball exercise with my friend, Wendy.  Then my friend, Janine, brought her two girls over and helped me sort through and get rid of a bunch of papers piled up on my desk and hidden from visitors on top of my dryer.  It was getting a bit over whelming and MESS is STRESS at my house.I had only 4 follow up items I had to deal with this morning, but now it is finished...for now.  My desk is clear of problems and papers!

Dave came home a little early, loaded up the 4 wheelers and we headed up the canyon.  I was surprised that more leaves weren't turning yet, and there were still flowers out!  It was cool, clear and beatufuil...and bouncy!  My goodness, I can't believe what a bumpy ride it was!  We took a turn and discovered some old abandoned mines.  We decided to see where the road led.  My arthritic thumb was starting to bother me, so I wanted to turn around and go back.  Dave wanted to go a bit further, so I followed...like a good wife!  I hit a rock with my right front tire and suddenly found myself on the ground!  I always wondered how people could fall of 4 wheelers...now I know!  My 4 wheeler started rolling backwards down the mountain so I grabbed on to it (still lying on the ground) so I wouldn't have to chase after it.  I got up, brushed myself off, check for body damage (mine), hopped back on the bike and kept going.  That was not the most exciting part of my trip.

Dave decided to take a bumpy road down the mountain to meet up with the main road.  We came to some large rocks blocking the road.  I saw it as a sign to turn back.  Dave saw it as a challenge.  He got the bikes over the first blockade...then we came to the reason they blocked off the road...no road.  Most of the road had washed away, but someone had made a trail riding at an angle on the side of the mountain (here is where a picture would help explain)...so no road.  Alternative, ride on the side of the hill or fall down the steep mountain...or my favorite, turn back.  Dave choose the first!  I followed, but got my 4 wheeler pointed in the wrong direction...no stopping, no slowing down, just go for it!  I thought I was a gonner for sure, but somehow, with my great skill (hehe) and lots of prayer, I got safely across.  I started to tip, but put my foot down and somehow got my bike to go in the right direction!  Then we had to get the bikes over the next set of boulders.  My remarks to Dave when we were through it:  "Let's not do that again!"

When we got back down to the truck, my arm was aching.  It felt like it was cracked near the elbow.  I was trying to decide if I should go to to the Urgent Care when we got out of the canyon.  We hadn't gone out to dinner yet, so I decided to take a pain pill, go out to dinner, then we spent some quality time at Urgent Care.  It wasn't cracked, but the bone was bruised.  Doctor's orders are not to use my arm for a week to let it heal.  I have to use a sling, very fashionable!  Our most memorable Anniversary yet!