Thursday, February 17, 2011

Live life...on purpose!

 Sorry, I was about to post this and the power went out last night.  Luckily, a draft was here it is!

What a beautiful, blustery day today!  I can't believe I let 2 weeks go by without posting!  I have been enjoying the warmer weather this week!  I set some goals for myself, but didn't quite get to the "washing my car" part.

My friend, Jenene, came over and helped me dig out some old memories I was keeping in the storage closet.  Three trips to the trash can, 1 trip to the D.I. (Good Will) and one box down to storage in the basement later, I have an organized closet!  I thought we were only going to do one shelf, but Jenene made me press on until it was all out (what a true friend!)!  So many things I thought would be important for the past 15 years, wasn't.  Many things our family had grown out of.  I don't spend much time on crafts, so a lot of that had to go.  A very large donation to the church library of pens, pencils and crayons.  I still have a storage room downstairs that needs the same discriminating cleansing...and I will...soon.  It's on my "ducks in a row" list.

I love the organized life!  What I didn't expect was the big relief of stress.  I wasn't even aware that mess was causing stress!  It was behind closed doors...out of sight, out of mind, right?  Not right!  It makes me wonder what life concept I have believed all my life to make me think it was import to save all the tidbits and mementos in my life.  Two binders should do it, right?  When I die, how many binders and journals do you want to look through...really!  I also wonder...what other stuff do we bury inside ourselves that causes us stress we don't realize...until we throw it away.

We didn't go for chemo this week.  I don't know why I was feeling...I don't know, afraid, perhaps.  Maybe it's because the last trip to the hospital was more than a little scary for me.  I had mixed feelings when the nurse called me and said his platelets were too low for chemo.  Glad for the break, but disappointed we couldn't get on with the treatments so they could be over.  The new last day of chemo is April 26th...maybe.  I'm ready for some good news!

Sadly, this isn't the good news week.  One of my best friends, Rinda, lost one of her boys to mental illness.  He couldn't take the battle raging in his mind any longer and he silenced the voices on Valentine's Day.  My heart breaks for her loss.  He had a beautiful toddler boy, whom he adored.  He had many people in his life who loved him, but it wasn't enough.  I don't know if it is a gift to him or wake up without the rage and hopelessness that he doesn't understand, yet leave his son's life so soon, that his son will never remember the love that he had for him.  It's sad, either way.  Rest in peace, Kenny!  Rest... in peace.


Jill Heaps said...

You seem to have found an inner, deeper happiness lately. It seriously bounces off you when you enter the room. You amaze me how you can stay so positive during such a stressful time in your life. Thank you for your example!
Maybe I need to borrow Jenene sometime :)

Rose said...

Thanks Jill! You're very sweet! Counting your blessings is a way of life and a way to keep a good attitude. If you spend all your time counting your challenges...well that's just boring and depressing! Stress? What stress! ;)