I know some of you are wondering if we made the right choice to let Jake choose if he got chemo or not. He's 20 now...so...yes!
Fact: The doctor said if it were her child, she would not force him to have any more chemo treatments. At this point, he was not curable. Chemo treatments would perhaps prolonged his life, but a miserable life it would be.
My thoughts: Just because Jake's life did not turn out the way I had dreamed...doesn't mean he did not live the life he was meant to live. Making Jake suffer any longer than necessary is just inhumane! I won't do it!
I love every minute I have with Jake. Sometimes I just sit next to him and listen to him breathe...because I know I will not even have that soon. We still joke...when I feel he's up to it, and if I can make him smile...through the pain, there is where I find my heart smile.
Although I do not spend the same kind of time with the rest of my boys right now...I still love them just as much. They are very understanding of the time I have to give Jake in his care. They are always willing to help and I know their hearts are breaking as they watch their brother deteriorate every day. They miss the old Jake! We all do!