10/10/10

Well, I don't have any pics to share with this update, but this one about sums up what it looked like for John to leave home.  He hasn't accumulated much, so he didn't have much to take.  The most important things he wanted to pack were his golf clubs and his paintball stuff.  That's about all he took when he left home a few years back...he just wanted his golf clubs and paintball stuff.  Clothes were secondary items.  He borrowed the truck and headed to St. George to make a life for himself.  I attended a baptism of one of my Primary girls in the morning and reminisced about the day Jake and John were baptized.  His short life replayed itself in my mind and I found myself sobbing through the song, "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus". (I'm having a mommy crisis!  It's allowed!)  I went home and helped him pack everything into the truck.  I took him to lunch, but couldn't talk much without coming to tears.  He thinks I won't miss him much because I still have a house full of people here, but I will miss everything about him that I love.  I told him I was going to have a good cry after he left.  He said, "Oh, like you did when Zack left?"  That's the one!  That is the cry that lasts for months.  I broke down on the first hug good bye and told him,  "Don't get me wrong!  I'm glad you are getting on with your life, but I'm going to miss the heck out of  you!"  I told  him he might understand when he has his own kids just how much I love him.  Then I said, "Never mind!  Guys don't get this and you'll never be a mom!"  He agreed.  Then he did a couple of things.  I hugged him again before he left, then I watched the tail lights disappear around the corner with my son.  (Sigh!)  Bye Bye Baby Boy!  I Love you with all my breaking heart!

Jake & John