What else I didn't say...

I tell my friends "I'm fine...Jake's fine!", but if you want to know how we really feel, go look at my blog!

I'm very nervous about Jake right now!  Hoping that I was ready to be a support to other families going through the same experience, I looked up some blogs of other Rhabdo patients.  I guess I'm not ready.  Too much information (TMI)!  I was surprised at how many sets of twins were affected (one of the two).  I think I came across 3 other sets of twins where one twin was affected by Rhabdo.  Then I came across an article that said that adults with the same stage cancer as children have a much less chance of survival!  I didn't need to see that...did I?

I talked to Jake's doctor today and expressed my disappointment in the fact that his tumor was actually larger than when we started.  She didn't remember it being 4 cm to start, but she will check it out and get back to me tomorrow.  His swelling is worse in his foot and leg.  His skin is getting tighter on his leg! This doesn't seem like an improvement to me.  His pain is the same...not improved.

I have to say...I was hoping that after the last chemo treatment they would say..."All better!  Your life can go back to normal now!  These little set backs are like stabs in the heart...wounding my hope!  You know how you feel when you have been doing a very hard job and you think you're almost finished and someone comes and brings another load and says you can't go home until it's finished...and there might be more after that?  (Sigh!)  I'm just saying.....