Trying to teach the boys...

I was having a conversation today with Zack and Dave on how women sometimes had a need to be validated.  Perplexity covered their faces, so I proceeded to list off some helpful comments they could use to validate their wife, when she was trying to tell how her day went  I carefully pointed out that guys just wanted to fix things and we found that annoying.  Zack dutifully said he would make a note of those things.  Dave asked, "If you don't want us to fix it, why are you telling us?"  Never mind.  I'll just call Joyce when I need to be validated.  Sheesh!

There is sunshine in my soul today...

Dear God,
Thank you for the sunshine today, it warms my soul.
Thank you for the budding flowers, they remind me that spring will be here soon.
Thank you for my friends, they always have my back!
Thank you for my family, because I live in love when I'm home.
Thank you for thy Holy House, because I always feel your warm embrace when I'm there.
Thank you for my angels, who constantly watch over an comfort me.
Thank you for my trials, for I have gained so much strength from them and they bring me closer to You.
and Thank you for thy many tender mercies, because it brings me comfort to know how much You love me.

Today is a better day!

The sun is shining, I got enough sleep last night, got my exercise in this morning, made it to all my appointments on time...well, within 5 minutes, and I have eaten healthy today!

Jake is very tired today, but he was up playing on the computer earlier, so he must not feel too bad.

Mike started his first official job (the kind that takes taxes out) today!  He works at Kohlers in Lehi, so look for him when you shop there!

My hair is lighter today...I like it! :)

Some days are like this...Even in Australia!

So, we are getting closer to the third to the last long chemo.  Platelet counts were only up to 44 on Thursday, so we have been getting him detoxed as often as possible (Thank you so much, Sharon!).  He will get his blood drawn tomorrow to see where he's at.  If his platelets are not up to 75, no chemo this week.

Last night, he spiked a fever of 103!  He refused to go to the hospital.  I called the Hem/Onc doctor on call, and had her talk to him, but he still wouldn't go.  He had a detox yesterday and this afternoon.  He asked Dave and Zack for a blessing.  Between the two of them, his fever is back down to normal.  I'm grateful for that, but he said, "See mom!  Aren't you glad we didn't go to the ER?"  I'm grateful he is feeling better, but I didn't want this little miracle to feed into his teenage invincibility.  Now it will be even harder to get him to the hospital when he needs to go.  I am so looking forward to this being over!

I received a note last night that my sister-in-law's mom died of cancer yesterday.  She has had 6 bouts of cancer to battle these past years.  My uncle Jack was diagnosed with cancer and won't make it to his next birthday.  The lady down the street was diagnosed with cancer and is going through radiation therapy.  It all came to a head this morning and I just couldn't stop the tears all day.

Have you ever felt like someone peeled back the protective layers of your heart and left it laying there, vulnerable to every sad thought or touching moment?  Do you ever see someone cry and it makes you cry?  Yes, I looked in the mirror, saw myself crying and cried even more.  (I know you men can't relate to this, but the sista's have got my back on this one!)  Singing the opening hymn in church made me cry.  Thinking about the missionary leaving made me cry.  Hugging a friend made me cry.  Thinking about hugging a friend made me cry?  Thinking about trials made me cry.  Leading the music in RS made me bawl like a baby! (Extremely embarrassing!)  I hid my face for part of the song with the book.  The pages were blurred by my tears, so I just took some deep breaths, stopped trying to sing and led on...tears streaming down my face.  I didn't want to take away from the spirit of the meeting, but I had no control at that point.  I text a friend and told her my heart needed her to come sit by me.  She came...and I could feel her love envelope me and bear me up through the rest of the meeting.

I don't ever remember feeling this vulnerable in my life, or sad!  I'm glad I'm feeling better now...stronger, somehow.  I apologize to my RS sisters who had to witness this emotional meltdown, but I am grateful that I was surrounded by their love, when it happened.  I'm not saying this is the worse day of my life, just a very emotional one.  Serving my family will help me get out of this funk, so I'm going to go make their favorite dinner.

As Alexander's mom said....Some days are like this...even in Australia!

Biggest Loser part I

So this is my latest endeavor!  I have joined the AF Fitness Center's (that's where we play racquetball) Biggest Loser contest!  The weigh in isn't until the 17th, but I have already started losing weight.  I have lost 18 lbs since last Christmas!  I just barely got past the ever-frustrating plateau block that has been my constant companion for many years!  Unfortunately, I don't get credit for the weight I lose before Thursday, but it still feels good!  I'm imagining how good my knees are going to feel without the extra weight!

Jake's counts are up, chemo went well, and...this is just the best day I have had in a long, long time!

Happy Birthday Uncle Jack!

Uncle Jack was just diagnosed with cancer, so this will be the last birthday I get to spend with him.

It's so far advanced, they only give him 2 weeks-2 months.  As a tradition, I make him a nice homemade meal and go visit him on his birthday.  This year was no different.  My dear friend, Sylvia, made and sent some super delicious homemade bread, like Aunt Enid used to make.  It was a big hit!  Love in every bite!

Aunt Belva took this pic.  She kept putting her finger over the lens!

This is me and Uncle Jake on his 84th birthday, today!  I've nearly worn out the shirt I'm wearing.  Uncle Jack bought it for me.  It was the second one he got me, so I told him it was tradition and we had to do it every year!  They all have Moroni, Utah on them...his home town.  Uncle Jack has been my stand-in dad since I got married.  He gave me away on my wedding day and was my witness at my temple sealing.

I would often visit them in Moroni when I was younger.  I always loved it when he stood at the top of the stairs and yelled down every child's name to wake them up.  I would lay there, silently anticipating my name.  He never left me out!

We love to tease each other, as he does all of the nieces and nephews.  We spent many an adventure 4-wheeling up in Maple Canyon, admiring the beauty of the canyon and often sitting and having long talks together.  He would take me on forgotten trials that had big logs across them.  He would go right over top of them...and I would follow whooping and laughing at my "old" uncle's adventurous character (This was only a couple years ago!).  He liked to go very slow.  At first I didn't like the snail pace, but he taught me to not be in such a hurry and enjoy the ride.  However, when we got towards the bottom of the canyon, or on the road to Jerusalem, he would often surprise me and race off!  When I finally caught up with him, he'd be just a giggling!  The evenings would usually include a game of Kings on the Corner.  I'd always catch him cheating...usually he'd put the wrong color cards or wrong number and then pretend he didn't notice anything wrong.  He quacks me up!

This is my cousin, Cindy and her hubby, Andy.  She is one amazing woman!  She cares for her brother, J.L., who had a stroke 6 years ago.  She tirelessly attends to his needs and helps him through physical therapy.  Without her, I think he would still be lying in bed, paralyzed.  I so admire the love and patience she has for her brother.  She gives the best hugs!

A little D&C...(Dusting and Cleaning)

No, this isn't a post about how I got my spring cleaning done (though I wouldn't mind if it were true!).  I posted on another blog that my stress level was minimal.  But the more I pondered on that thought, I found that there were several things that were bothering me, and creating stress that I was ignoring.  This weekend, I had a little talk with each of those people to clear up my misperceptions.  I was surprised at the emotion attached to those stress creators!  I was able to get those feelings validated, my perceptions corrected or aligned with the right person, opened the front door and let those worries, concerns and stress scurry out of my life!  Man that felt good!

BaBye!  I won't miss you!

Next!  :)

Chemo: Week 31

Update on forethesakeofjake.blogspot.com