What I didn't say...

I should probably blog about the fun family bonding we had in St. George a couple weeks ago...and perhaps I'll get to that later.  But I feel to continue with the update I put on Jake's Blog. 

I'm a bit worried...maybe needlessly...but, it's my job and I do it well!  The MRI report came back and I was finally able to talk to the doctor about it.  She seemed to think it was good, but according to the first measurements, I believe the tumor is bigger than when it started.  We'll be doing a test to see if the tissue is living or not, and if that test turns out well, it doesn't matter if it's bigger or not.  But if not...

Dr. Wright told me not to worry about what we don't know yet.  My fear is that we put Jake through all of this chemo torture for nothing.  Well, we will have to wait and see.  I wish I could feel good about celebrating the end of this.  I hope I can soon!

Closets

Did you ever take a look in your closet and wonder why you kept all that stuff?  I have to admit, sometimes I’m a “closet stuffer”!   If I don’t want to deal with something, I stuff it in a closet. 

Recently, my friend and I cleaned out 15 years of closet stuffing.  We kept very little.  Some stuff we donated because I had so much and couldn’t pass up a good buy.  Some things my kids had out grown and mementos of the past 15 years that I thought I might need to remember my past.  Trash can after trash can full we emptied.

When we were finished, it felt freeing!  I felt more organized and free from clutter and free from stress that I had hid in my closet.

I believe that we do closet stuffing with our past and our feelings.  We hold on to things we think we might need later or continue to pester us from years and years ago.  Every so often, we need to clean out our “past” closets and let go of the stuff we don’t need.  Jeffery R. Holland suggests that we let go and leave it alone and not open old wounds.  It is true for other’s past as well.  Leave well enough alone.  Let them heal and stay that way.  Elder Holland suggests that we remember just enough to not repeat mistakes, but forgive yourself (or others) and move on.

It makes me take another look at “my closet” to see if there are any pet grievances, sorrows, bad feelings, hurt or misperceptions that I have been holding on to.  For the most part, I have been able to keep my house closets clean and organized.  But lately, I have caught myself tossing in a few things I don’t want to deal with, promising myself that I will deal with it soon…but they are still sitting there, cluttering up my clean space.  I’ve become better at keeping the house clean that people see, but if you look close or open the closets, you may find a thing or two out of place.

Such is life, isn’t it?  Some of us have a lot of cleaning to do and some just have to take care of those few things.  Isn’t it nice to know that we can always count on our Savior to help us de-junk?  The best thing is, He’ll haul it all away…if we are willing to give it up..trash can after trash can full!  It’s hard to face the daunting task by yourself, but with a little help from a friend, nothing is too hard…and anything is possible.